Writing Motherhood: 8 Books You Should Add to Your List
The other weekend a miracle happened. I spent a good portion of a camping trip READING. I’m talking three-quarters of a book.
You’re moms, so you get it. When you have young children, reading in their presence can be nearly impossible. But my son is now 7. He is my only child and, thus, once we’ve reached a milestone, that is the only one we’ll pass with this kid. And the milestone I have apparently reached is <insert celebratory horns> reading for at least a chapter at a time without being interrupted on a camping trip.
What was I reading, you ask? Only one of the best novels about motherhood that I could not put down because of the visceral rage and deep weirdness from it. That book, my friends is Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder. And it got me thinking that it was about time we send you all a list of some of our (well, my) favorite books on motherhood.
There, of course, are more where this list of books came from, but there’s a certain amount of glee that came with the ease of making this list. There seems to have been a resurgence of writing about motherhood. The blissful, the awful, the rageful…all of the above. And what I love about these books is the narrative element to all of them. The novels, of course, are narrative in that they depict very specific experiences from one mother that all of us can find deep down in ourselves. And the non-fiction books are deeply personal, but also universal in that they’re speaking of the many nuances of motherhood. There’s just so much good writing about motherhood these days and it’s gratifying not to see them all in the “parenting” or “self help” sections. Those have their place, but these bring out the complexities of this role we’ve all found ourselves in.
And also, our friends Miranda Rake and
over at are doing a summer book club and book report series while their podcast is on pause and y’all need to give them a follow to see what they’re reading.Also, you can get all of these amazing books at our Bookshop storefront:
Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder
“All hail the Queen of Books, Nightbitch the Magnanimous, giver of life,” wrote
in a comment from her co-host Miranda’s post about Nightbitch. Because what can I say, that is exactly what this book is.Plot-wise, it’s about a harried mom of a two-year-old who has found herself in a stay-at-home mom life she never really expected. One day, she discovers a strange patch of hair on her neck and later she thinks she’s growing fangs. “I think I’m turning into a dog,” she says to her husband. And what comes thereafter is a visceral, deeply weird, but also intensely relatable story about the rage of early motherhood (or of all motherhood). I left it not quite knowing if it is a story of magical realism or just the magical realism that happens in our minds as we become mothers. Whatever you do, be prepared for some weird shit to happen. But don’t let that deter you, just lean in and go along for the ride because it is so so good.
Boymom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity by Ruth Whippman
I am a mom of a boy. I am also a feminist. I have very often caught myself putting my son in a gendered box because, quite honestly, there does feel like a difference between the boys and girls in his orbit. But also, what is gender but an invention? But also, there is something different about parenting this kid than the way it seems parenting happens with my niece.
For all of this, Boymom is apparently the book I needed all along. Whippman, a mom of three boys, finds herself in a similar feminist-meets-boymom predicament but also puts those into an important complexity around parenting boys. While girls empowerment has rightfully been a huge focus of modern feminism, our collective concepts and understanding of masculinity hasn’t changed much and that’s affecting boys. The rise of Andrew Tate’s popularity and young men moving towards the right is indicative of this fact. So how can we, as parents, help change the masculinity norms in our parenting? Whippman has some answers, but also she goes into what’s happening among boys right now.
I’m not exaggerating when I say this should be required reading for all parents. Not just parents of boys, but of kids of all genders. It takes all of us, collectively, to change the masculinity norms so that our boys are able to tap into the emotions they’re told to suppress and create meaningful relationships with other kids, especially other boys. I’m so grateful to Whippman for her deep dive into questions that I honestly never thought to ask, but were somehow in the back of my brain as a “boymom.”
Essential Labor: Mothering as Social Change by Angela Garbes
To say this book is transformative is not an exaggeration. There’s an almost spiritual quality to the way
describes motherhood from everything from the basic survival instincts to the bodily functions associated with mothering. Essential Labor left me feeling, well, in awe of how badass it is to take on a mothering role, despite how undervalued the role is thanks to it being unpaid labor. And labor it is. Yet, as the title notes, it is essential.We have also had the absolute honor of having Angela host an in-person session about writing about motherhood. If you want to be in the presence of some other badass writer moms, you must join us for an in-person retreat (heads up: our November Minneapolis retreat is almost sold out!) or join or start a regional chapter of your own.
Touched Out: Motherhood, Misogyny, Consent, and Control by Amanda Montei
What can I say about this book other than that every mother should read it.
brought up so many thoughts that I had, particularly as a new mother, especially realizing that this role meant that my body wasn’t mine anymore. Montei wonders throughout whether as women in America, are bodies ever ours? It puts the whole seeming loss of bodily autonomy when you become a mother in a cultural context that, quite honestly, blew my mind.Beautiful, personal, and so very relatable, this seriously is a book every mom should read, even if to just see herself in what Montei writes.
Amanda Montei has also facilitated an incredible virtual workshop called “Embracing Interruption: Motherhood While Writing.” The recording of this workshop is available to paid subscribers here among dozens of other workshop session recordings.
The Golden State by Lydia Kiesling
This novel is about Daphne, a young mother whose Turkish husband is stuck abroad thanks to visa problems, as she is heading towards breakdown. It is the kind of book where you’re like “no Daphne, what are you doing?!” but also “Oh Daphne, I feel you” because how anyone gets through early parenthood—especially if they’re doing it solo—without a breakdown of one kind or another, then there might be something wrong with that person. Daphne’s breakdown might be more drawn out than say the occasional scream-into-a-pillow sesh here and there and yet there is a quality of looking into a mirror. It’s beautifully and poignantly written and there’s no wonder Kiesling was nominated for all of the prizes for this debut novel.
Also notable is Kiesling’s latest book, Mobility, which became a best-seller and nominated for the Oregon Book Award. Not motherhood focused, but as good as The Golden State, in a very different way.
The Baby on the Fire Escape: Creativity, Motherhood, and the Mind-Baby Problem by Julie Phillips
Have you ever wondered what life behind the scenes was like for famous literary or artist mothers? I think we wonder this because, historically speaking, writing about motherhood was a bit of a literary no-no. So Julie Phillips did the digging for you curious folks—or folks who didn’t know to be curious about the mother-lives of famous writers until just now—in The Baby on the Fire Escape.
Phillips dug into the writings and interviews and experiences of a number of creative writers including Doris Lessing, Audre Lorde, Alice Walker, and Ursula K. Le Guin among many others. Seeing these women’s creativity through the lens of what was also happening in the background as mothers made them so relatable. But it also brought with it some frustration because we’re still dealing with the push-and-pull of expectations from us in our motherhood role in much the same way these women were decades ago. And of course, the challenges were amplified for the Black women among these creatives.
If you want to hear me and Julie talk about this book, I interviewed her for an author talk with the JHU MA in Writing Program (of which I’m an alum) in 2023 and you can watch that on YouTube here.
Holding It Together: How Women Became America’s Safety Net by Jessica Calarco
Speaking of how little has changed for women’s roles at home, gender researcher Jessica Calarco’s new book Holding It Together illustrates just that through this book detailing her research on the topic. And while this is essentially about women holding up the social safety net, we’re talking mostly mothers being those women holding it together. Mothers hold up our feeble little safety net and it is f*$#ing infuriating.
Calarco, a mother herself, doesn’t hold back in sharing how she’s feeling in the moment as she details her findings. It’s a fabulous book that will most definitely make you want to hit the streets to make social change.
Also, stay tuned because I’m interviewing Jess in a few weeks for a Q&A/audio version of the newsletter so you can hear more from her there!
How to Raise a Feminist Son: Motherhood, Masculinity, and the Making of My Family by Sonora Jha
This book is a companion to Boymom where Jha offers her personal experience raising boys in America and doing her best to help them reject the typical definitions of masculinity. It’s personal and beautiful in that she’s showing us through her experience as a single immigrant mom of color ways we can all bring feminism—albeit imperfectly—into our parenting. Ijeoma Oluo wrote in her blurb “This book is a true love letter, not only to Jha's own son but also to all of our sons and to the parents—especially mothers—who raise them.” And for that, it is a perfect and beautiful way to write motherhood.
With that, I wish you an end of the summer full of reading or listening or even just staring blankly into space. Whatever it is, I hope it’s relaxing. So I’ll leave you with a moment of zen from my summer.
Thank you for the recs! Can’t wait to add these to my list
thank you so much for including Boymom on this great list!